Nigerian male sexual abuse survivor tells the story of his abuse by a staunch church goer and how he was taunted by people who didn't believe him and his abuser got away | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 6 May 2017

Nigerian male sexual abuse survivor tells the story of his abuse by a staunch church goer and how he was taunted by people who didn't believe him and his abuser got away

Sexual abuse, especially towards children, may look like it's become rampant in present times because social media highlights this problem, but it has always been around for years as can be seen from the story shared by Okenyi Kenechi who was sexually abused when he was 8.

Now a 28-year-old who has graduated from the university, Kenechi is finally sharing the story of his abuse and it is a very sad one, especially as he never got justice.

In 1997, when Kenechi was in primary 3, a female neighbor would always come to their home in Ugwu Achara, Nsukka, Enugu state, and beg his mother to allow him come and play with her children. Once there, this mother will lure him into her room and force him to perform oral sex on her then threaten him into silence. Soon after, he developed infection on his lips and at the hospital, his mother was informed that it was caused by engaging in oral sex. He opened up to his mother then and that was when his travails really began.

The culprit, when she was confronted, denied and accused the boy of cooking up lies against her. Everyone took sides with the woman who was an active member in the church. Church members also defended her and everyone turned against Kenechi and his family. He had to stop going to school for a while and when he resumed, he had to be escorted by his elder brother to avoid getting lynched. His parents were advised to leave everything to God and that was what they did. Everyone else moved on with their lives but Kenechi couldn't get past what had happened and he had to carry that baggage for years.

At some point, he felt suicidal. That was after he had gone for counselling and the counselor asked him if he "enjoyed it". He said he still goes home sometimes and still sees his abuser, who everyone still revers as an innocent woman and a good Christian. He was finally able to move past the abuse after he joined a group consisting of other sexual abuse victims. He disclosed that 90% of those in his group never got justice. Their abusers went free.

Kenechi shared his story to advise parents to also pay attention to their sons as well as their daughters, because males also suffer sexual abuse and mostly have to deal with it alone. He concluded by saying that the society failed him and continues to fail victims of abuse who are children.

The comments on Kenechi's post have been overwhelming, with a lot of men also coming out to say that they, too, were sexually abused as children but had to remain silent about it.


See screenshots of Kenechi's post below.

31 comments:

INEH said...

My dear in nigeria 99% of people are disvirgined by people in your immediate surroundings. i dont like it but thats LIFE....most people dont speak up but the learn to deal with it inside and they grow normal people. BUT you spoke up...The question "did you enjoy it" was very correct.... my nigga don't become a homosexual!!! cz as am seeing u now (wink) ure dancing the dance!

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

Sm1 u cud av bite her clitoris

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

I think for a guy to come out and speak abt sexual abuse like this, his hatred for women is unwavering, hence he might av become homo

INEH said...

thank you @meetd@ealevans

sammy said...

@meetd ealevans. Please can you shut up your mouth? I know alot of people that had gone through that line. boys abused by church members. If I mention the church name you will marvel.

Mind you they are not homos.Why should Nigerians always take people's feeling for granted

slliky said...

@meetD. ..ur comments are insensitive and stupid. You are one the reasonsame men won't come out and speak on their abuse...what is the meaning of "heugh the have become a homo"...Ask your mother and sisters who were raped if they became lesbians beca use of their rape.... mumu like you

Anonymous said...

It's so sad to read such a story after a close male colleague opened up to me recently on how he was sexually abused by a close female family friend in his primary school over 28 years ago. She would compel him to massage her boobs and lie on her! After then, she'll give him biscuits and petty cash and warn him not to tell his mum. This went on till his junior secondary school. He's married now with kids, but the experience still taunts him. Parents need to be extra vigilant. Never allow your kids be alone with any 'family friend' for any reason. Parents beware. Trust your children enough when they report such things to you act fast. No matter how ridiculous or silly it sounds. God help us.

Mr. Paul said...

I can understand his pains...some women are something else.

Nkem4eva said...

@Meet how did you come to this conclusion from this victims sad account? Please desist from trivializing delicate issues.

Nkem4eva said...

My dear you are not alone. Thank God for your parents who believed you. I can't imagine that people thought an 8 year old made up this story. I think you can still get justice if you try. It will be tough but worth it. The hospital might still have those records. May God protect you.

Anonymous said...

You can imagine a small child sucking rotten pussy that stinks to high heavens getting infection on his lips. The boys survival story is a miracle considering how dirty, maggot infested most female pussies are. The beast of a woman who did this to her should be immediately arrested.

Anonymous said...

You know the dance steps because it's the dance you dance very well, abi ?

David Chibuikem Nnaemeka said...

Studies have shown that it's easier for trusted family members and relations to sexually abuse a child than outsiders. Uncles, nephews, nieces who have free access to the house when you are not around are the most likely to abuse your children. Those who have boys serving them are the worst hit. Chances are that your growing daughter or son is going through what you can't believe is possible under the sun at the hands of your boys/ girls that are serving you.
Parents should be more careful with close relations as well as they are with outsiders.

Anonymous said...

Good Lord deliver us

Anonymous said...

I rarely write comment, but this I have to write. Shame on you guys @MEETD®EALEVANS™ and INEH how is your reaction different from people that are point finger and blame the innocent child.

@INEH: How is "did you enjoy it" a correct question to ask... please imagine you saying this to a little girl who has been molested. Honestly think about what you said.

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ honestly dude, imagine that was your son, your 8 old son, God bid you being in situation and the situation his family was in, will you still have this your idiotic.

you two really need to check yourself and your priority, and your views are really saddening to say the least.

If the brother in question is by any chance reading. I know it is hard living a lawless land like Nigerian, but please find comfort in knowing that we are all still going to be call to account for our action by Allah almighty.

One more time shame on you guys @MEETD®EALEVANS™ and INEH

Anonymous said...

i have been traumatised for years since i was molested by my aunty.i need counselling.its driving me nuts

Anonymous said...

i have been traumatised for years since i was molested by my aunty.i need counselling.its driving me nuts

Anonymous said...

You are very mad. An 8 year old boy was made to suck on a grown woman's vagina and you are talking about being disvirgined. He was abused and his abuser walked away Scot-free and you are unable to see the injustice? You are part of the problem. Get an education on such matters fast.

uniquechic said...

yesso I keep mine close nutg like visiting family friend unaccompanied..
nowadays d awareness is high..
may God keep ds children for us o...let dem be aware at d right time

Anonymous said...

U guys are soooo stupid. I can't deal! Huh! You're wishing that it happened to you cos it never did. Let me ask. Pls have you been hated by a whole school before? Have you been hated by a whole community before? Its not just the trauma of the abuse but also the denial and hate by the society. I was not abused but I was hated and lied upon by people thatbare holier than thou in school that I became the school lying thief. At the end I became a fighter girl to escape them but am still traumatized by that stage in my life. So ple you guys should take a chill pill and look after your future children better. Ignorant over sex crazed adolescents!

Emeka Izuogu said...

Bro sorry for what happened to you, your neighbor is a shameless slot...now you have grown up get your revenge

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

I knew kenechi as a coursemate in uni. I always wondered why he was always detached...He hardly talks or interacts. Am sorry I Neva got to come close. I have so many male frnds who hv told me their stories of being abused as a child. Males suffer this asmuch as females buh our society Neva took any attention..All focus was on d girl child while so many male children suffered from more terrible abuses. I wanna join this voice to warn parents dat their male children stand equal chances of abuse like females.

Shouldisaymyname said...

It's sad but this happens frequently but the guys don't speak up for sounding weak. I remember about 10 years ago when I and 4 of my friends were talking and the issue came up. We all discovered we were molested by our househelps when we were kids. Shocking...we all blocked it out. Sad world. Saw the lady again when I went to the village years ago and didn't know how to react... ThankGod it didn't affect me to continue the cycle.

Roman God said...

I was only 5 years old when I received my first dose of sexual Abuse. I won't say her name because she is late now(Heard her skull was smashed by a trailer). By the time I turned 8, the number of Abusers increased to 4. I was forced to give oral s*x severally. It left a mental scar on me. Parents need to keep an extra eye on their wards.

Philips choice said...

I suffered sexual abuse by neighbours, for years. His own was 8, mine was 5.
I could not tell anyone because of fear of stigmatization.

Anonymous said...

Evans you are so dumb, blur your face because you an embarrament, he was 8 for fucks sake and he was forced.'y gosh you guys are are pathetic and still shaming him.

Anonymous said...

Please please please, i beg you in God's name kenechukwu put up the photo of the woman, dont allow her to go scot free, we are in a social media era. We would support you. Please i know how traumatised you may feel. Me wey be woman i dey imagine how my hubby dey try give oral sex, talkless of a small child licking in a disgusting thing to the extent of catching hpv ewwwww.. dont let this slide. Or you personally confront your abuser, you need closure sweetheart. Dont mind the imbeciles like the realevans who dey yarn nonsense he is dumb and highly ignorant. Be strong, read books on healing, joyce meyer beauty for ashes is a good start. Or listen to her message on you tube: one life. She talked extensively on her sexual abuse. God bless you dear. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for what you had to go through, it breaks my heart to see a lot of men going through this sexual abuse, we ignore this for males and i am guilty as well, if it were a woman i would have read this news asap but i had to force my self to read it and i am glad i did.
As you know the poster's councellor futher traumatized him by asking a ridiculous question. So as far as nigeria is concerned, getting a real professional councellor who shows empathy is rare. The ones we have here are joro the psychologist that focuses on yoruba demons and lekki girls because they are the most pressing issues in his small brain.
Please buy this book; beauty for ashes. By joyce meyer, it helped me a lot.
Also if you can go to u tube and search for joyce meyer's message; it is titled; one life pt 1 and 2. You would never regret it. She was raped by her father till she was 18 then she ran away from home.
Good luck on your journey to recovery; do not let this abuse mar you, be determined to heal and make something good for your life.
****Hugs*****

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing bro. Like u say we often forget males also get abused. It is well. I was gang raped as a teenager. It wasn't easy but I had the support of my family. For years I had dark thoughts. now I have reached the stage when I can talk about it without that feeling of pain. I am very open about it. I am married with kids and doing well professionally. I advise a lot of young kids cos I know what they have passed through. It is well. Talking about it will free u. U can only get better. Good luck bro

konnimoments1 said...

I believe you bro. My husband has always talked about this. A very common cancer that has been going on untreated. I wish you well
Be vigilant folks

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