Must a father seek permission from his daughter's husband-to-be before giving her a car or house as wedding gift? Twitter user thinks so | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

LI_Leaderboard_4

LI_Leaderboard_1

LI_Leaderboard_2

LI_Leaderboard_3

Thursday, 25 May 2017

Must a father seek permission from his daughter's husband-to-be before giving her a car or house as wedding gift? Twitter user thinks so

Apparently, a marriage ended because the bride's father gifted her a house and car on her wedding day and someone thinks the bride should have sought the opinion of her husband before accepting the wedding gifts from her father. What do you think?

81 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think the husband should knw that the wife would not be aware of the gift...so ending the marriage was wrong

ONYX linda ikeji first son GODWIN said...

A lot of Nigerian men have insecurities concerning women with wealth! Will he require his wife's permission if it was his dad that got him a car and a house? It's a gift, who needs permission to collect a gift, especially from her own dad that birthed her? He must be very very stupid. Let him go with his inferiority complex. He is simply not man enough! Idiot!😒😒😒

MUFC said...

If in marriage two people becomes one, why separate them?

I'm not saying seek permission, but let the man know except you are planning for your daughter to move into the house alone or run away with the car

MCK said...

It's highly ridiculous to think that a woman cannot receive a gift from her father without the consent of her to-be husband. Even if it were her husband,it is till rubbish. That's like blocking the Father-Daughter relationship because she is married to you. That definitely is not a worthy husband for any lady because he would make her loose her relationship with her family.

Nnenne George said...

Yes, he needs to.. as soon as her surname changes, she's no longer under him but under another authority so he needs to seek d husbands consent. Trying to do it tru d backdoor can trigger some bad blood btw the him and the daughter's husband. The daughter and her husband are not two but one.. so he needs to apply wisdom!

Anonymous said...

I guess it was a surprise gift.
What's the big deal?
He should just accept it & rock it with wife.

Anonymous said...

the husband must be mad, is he the one to tell me what to give to my daughter on her wedding day, when he knows it may be a surprise gift for her.

Sirgreen Stanley said...

As for the car, I dont think its a big deal. But the house? I think the groom will lose his stand if any thing goes wrong in his marriage(he can be sent out of the house), so he's trying to avoid that

Anonymous said...

Obviously the guy has inferiority complex....Its a gift from a father not a boyfriend. Thank God they divorced cos it appears that kind of man will be very controlling.

Tochukwu Uchendu said...

Madness. Would someone like me get such "embarrassing gift"? Certain men are direct products of systemic poverty and can never change.

Faith Ogaga's (SIM-MATES ACCESSORIES) said...

Disrespectful ke?!?!?!?!?
The husband should provide na !!

Gorgeous Eve said...

That's arrant nonsense. A father to seek permission from her son-in-law before he gives his own daughter gifts? How? And the daughter to seek her husband's approval before accepting gifts from her own father? Total bullshit! The girl should go and enjoy her life. The guy doesn't deserve her. He's apparently suffering from inferiority complex.

Vivian Reginalds said...

NOT AT ALL!
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

McT said...

The husband should go and sit down he's a big fool enemy of progress.because he's own family doesn't have money to buy for him .big fool

JESUSOJE said...

OK now.

Anonymous said...

If the father wanted to give his daughter alone, he should have done it before the wedding.He has just supported his daughter saying vows of "with all my worldly goods I thee endow" and he is now "separating"them by giving HER a house and car as a wedding gift. He should have either given the gift to both of them, or waited for her birthday and given HER what he wants to give.

slliky said...

D guy must be on drugs...If my parent gifts me and u tell me not to take it because you are not comfortable then you must an enemy of progress.

We dnt throw away our parents/family because of marriage and my parents are not only allowed to five me gifts but are also allowed to gift my kids without permission.

Babatunde Owosibo said...

The man accepting is the beginning of slavery cos d Father in law, will always want to lord it over him, but, on the other hand, if the wife had discussed it with him b4 then, then, both of them will discuss about d conditions attached to collecting it, and, if they cant reach a compromise, then it is better to do away with d gifts, but, definitely not d marriage.

Anonymous said...

That guy has inferiority complex. What is the definition of a gift.he should have bought her something bigger than what her dad gifted her. He should go to his village n marry.

Esther Norah said...

The husband isn't serious. Period

Agbomen said...

Never heard that one needs permission from a spouse to accept gifts from his/her parents. Isn't that's why it's called a gift?? Something that is unsolicited for. Don't see why there is need for consultations, really. No one is forcing the husband to go live in the hse that was gifted the wife, or even ride in the car, for that matter. If he already has a hse, we'll live in his hse, while I put my hse up for rent. What's the big deal? It's just plain insecurity. How do you end a whole marriage for that reason. SHM.

SOLOMON ALAKE said...

I may say yes (he should), because some men are not mature or expose enough to handle such a precious but delicate gift. What you thought will be a blessing may turn out to be curse in disguise....
I knew a lady whose father willed her landed property, her mother sold the land for her which runs into millions and paid the money into the couple joint account. The man(bully) refused to give even a dime to the wife and spent the money to the last Kobo without the consent of the lady...

Anonymous said...

All these Nigerian men with complex and low self esteem. I beg let my father in law gift us only 1m and I will be sooo grateful

SOLOMON ALAKE said...

The reason is because that will help a sensitive and sensible father to know if his Darling daughter is getting married to a beast and gold digger...

Okey said...

The right thing a father should do is to give the gift to his daughter and son-inlaw and not to his daughter alone.They are now husband and wife and are now one spiritually as admonished in the bible.This will bind them more together.Most parents out of selfishness and pride go contrary to this.

Samuel Orisakwe said...

Mumu it's not a case of wife being aware pls is its meaning n consequences

JAO said...

Either husband-to-be or husband, I don't think permission is needed. When the gift is given, the couple can decide what to do with it.

Kola said...

Lemme think.I guess the bride's father would have prepared this as a suprprise and on the day handed over the car and hse key or take em or daughter to the hse and the bride(his daughter)says "hold up daddy.I need my husband consent to take this gift"What a humiliation to the father.Tell the groom he will be a father one dày

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with the car but the house should be in joint names.
Better still the house should be gifted in the name of the grand kids

Samuel Orisakwe said...

Some of u are terrible it's called gift in marriage it's called Dowery n it depends how it's presented, that's nothing Bad about it.

Funmi Ayinde said...

Why should my father seek permission before giving me a wedding gift.. I don't care if it's an island or an estate. It's a gift from my father and it's for myself and my husband not mine alone. I wouldn't expect my husband to ask permission before accepting gifts from his parents. That marriage probably ended because of pride..

Anonymous said...

Well.. I dont believe you need the consent of anybody to give a Gift To Your Child but certain accepts needs to be considered, especially this being Africa and so Many Gifts Comes With Strings Attached.

1. Would the father in law ever bring up the issue that he bought the house his son in law is staying in maybe because he and his wife have normal marital issues. If he can totally butt out of his daughter and son-in-laws affairs.. Fine

2. Would The Father-In-Law Take Offence If they decide not to stay in the house and put it up for rent or sell it if need be? If he does.. Then Thats not a Gift. A True Gift you dont need to care whatever the person does with it after gifting it out.

3. Would The Father-In-Law Be Ready For The Papers Of The House Be Changed From Only His Daughter's Name (Maiden Name) To The Couples Name (That his Mr&Mrs .... (The Son-In-Law's Last Name) Because 2 have become 1 now. If he isnt willing, then Its Not a Gift For the Couple, but for his daughter alone. In That Case I dont advice any man to pack his luggages to the house, because 1 day he would be kicked out of the house.


My Conclusion
If this happened to me and my father in law gifted my wife/his daughter a Car (Small Thing No Biggie) but a House. I wouldnt move into the house just like that. Most Def before marriage, I have an apartment or maybe house of my own which i intend living with my new wife. So after the wedding and all my wife and I would talk things over as husband and wife because 2 has become 1. Majorly about the 3 points above.

Anonymous said...

You be mumu.....na husband dey give dowry not her father

The Lifted said...

There's nothing wrong with what the father did,whether it was a surprise or not,even if the husband didnt feel comfortable about it they would have talked it over(mind you returning the gift isnt an option here)the said husband was never interested in the marriage. let him be gone forever! such a scum!
I can't imagine human beings still reason like this. what about white men that leave fortunes for their daughters?

Rita said...

Ending the marriage for that? Bush man with severe case of inferiority complex that's why they resort to besting their wives to show who is in charge just to hide the complex eg Mr Lanre Gentry

Anonymous said...

is still his daughter no need to take permision, nothing is wrong with that,is called a gift am sure when he gets to that stage he will do the same for his daughter.My father did the same for me.he should swallow his pride and move on

Anonymous said...

Should not be an issue if the gift is to the couple. However, if it was expressly gifted to only the wife, then it means the marriage will be on shaky ground.

Anonymous said...

Right outta my mouth!

Adejoke Yusuf said...

U jst posted wat i have in mind......its so ridiculous for him to end his marriage based on that..
Its a gift frm her father for Gods sake

Anonymous said...

What are you blabbing? SMH

wrightabidemi1 said...

I wouldn't blame you cos you are a woman but next time stay off manly issues,ok! Iya go and play with your dolls

wrightabidemi1 said...

Then why marry him???

Ina said...

I love you for this comment onyx very realistic.

wrightabidemi1 said...

Some of you here are saying funny responses but you all forget how women are and at times men too,I've been there before,her father gave her a car and at every slight opportunity get out of my car at least my father bought it for me! So let's think carefully,these things tends to
Divide the home in some cases

gentle said...

As per the property that she is now.

jide omotosho said...

I guess the issue will be if the wife is insisting that's the house the couple should live in

Anonymous said...

Under another 'authority'??????? What the &"($:!-!!??

Opara Chikodili Nwanne said...

Dis is wedding gift 4 Christ's sake. U on earth will a wife needs permission frm her husband before accepting a wedding gift.ok let's look at it frm dis angle; on their wedding day they accepted other gifts frm friends n well wishers, why didn't d man not ask her 2 seek his permission first or is it bcos he feels threatened by d wait of this particular gift. D man's problem is insecurity n inferiority complex. He shld grow up b d man.

Opara Chikodili Nwanne said...

U said it all #MCK.

Shampepe said...

Well said, he's inferiority complex is too much and am sure the nigga is a broke ass!

Anonymous said...

To me the man is wrong,if you ask me I'll say he is not man enough, to handle issues or situations, the divorce is not it, what he would have done is after the gifts he decides what to do to or with the gifts, that will show that he is not just a husband but the bridegroom, that he is not just the boss of his home but the leader. Maturity is of the mind and not of age,idont expect my father-in-law to seek my permission before gifting any thing to my wife, it is only left for me to be in charge or handle what so ever it is with wisdom,knowledge and understanding which is =Maturity.

Anonymous said...

Onyx, I no know say you get sense like this!

Anonymous said...

To me the man is wrong,if you ask me I'll say he is not man enough, to handle issues or situations, the divorce is not it, what he would have done is after the gifts he decides what to do to or with the gifts, that will show that he is not just a husband but the bridegroom, that he is not just the boss of his home but the leader. Maturity is of the mind and not of age,idont expect my father-in-law to seek my permission before gifting any thing to my wife, it is only left for me to be in charge or handle what so ever it is with wisdom,knowledge and understanding which is =Maturity.

Anonymous said...

To me the man is wrong,if you ask me I'll say he is not man enough, to handle issues or situations, the divorce is not it, what he would have done is after the gifts he decides what to do to or with the gifts, that will show that he is not just a husband but the bridegroom, that he is not just the boss of his home but the leader. Maturity is of the mind and not of age,idont expect my father-in-law to seek my permission before gifting any thing to my wife, it is only left for me to be in charge or handle what so ever it is with wisdom,knowledge and understanding which is =Maturity.

Ebuka Umeh said...

It's a gift.... The man must not know... He should be happy that they got such as gift... Who opens parcel during wedding? Or is it because those ones can't be sealed?..

Anonymous said...

Inferiority complex. Chai Nigerian men with thier insecurities. My dear run for your life he wants to be treating you like a piece of garbage saying to you that you came with nothing and that you will leave with nothing. Lolllz

Anonymous said...

Inferiority complex. Chai Nigerian men with thier insecurities. My dear run for your life he wants to be treating you like a piece of garbage saying to you that you came with nothing and that you will leave with nothing. Lolllz

Anonymous said...

Dats how one guy told me dat if we get married and my dad buys me a car as a gift, dat i will have to sell the car and buy another one... I had to stay away such person. I don't need my husband's permission to collect what so ever wedding gift from my dad. If am gifted a house and he doesnt want us to live dia, we could stay in his own apartment whether rentedor built but must be comfortable, while i rent out my own house and collect d rent every year. If he doesn't want me to drive d car given to me as gift, he should buy another for me as wedding gift while i drive the both. I don't need wat ever permission from him to collect watever from my family, sameas he doesn't need from me. I can only tell him out of love and respect not that i need his permission.

Anonymous said...

Gbam! God bless you for this comment. The guy is ridiculous.

Chikaalice said...

The only reasonable comment I've read so far...

Anonymous said...

...like your own wisdom? Ehn? Abeg receive slap!

Anonymous said...

Well said...d guy should know that before him,there was....

Anonymous said...

Dowry is what a woman's family pays for a man to marry her

Anonymous said...

Thunder must fire the man,my father was my first husband and caretaker so if feels insure about anything than that is his problem.

Anonymous said...

Permission is not need either from the wife or her father.

If they divorced after 6 months as a result of the gift, the woman did not manage it well. She probably rubbed it in the mans face....naturally most men cant take that

Anonymous said...

Thank you ooo, my tots exactly.

Anonymous said...

Pls shut up nnenne George or woteva ur name is, why would I take permission frm my child's spouse b4 i gift something to her?

Anonymous said...

Some ladies talk rubbish here. Even if your father gifts you car and a house, is it yours? Biblically, it belongs to your husband and I strongly believe that some ladies will begin to insult their husbands because their father is well to do. If you want to marry the car and the building from your father (the gifts), pleeaase collect them and stay single. Enjoy your life until you are old and you will know what it is to be attached to a man. Finally, eternity-wise, you will know that your being a mother-fucker will earn you a Christless Eternity. Because all through your life without a husband, you wont be alone: there must be men you frolick with. Ladies are provoking people here with their comments. Why not ask your father to give you a cheque/cash which you will beg your husband to accept. Ultimately, knowing Christ is the in-thing there because if the bride is Christian (bornagain) she will not insult the husband because of her fathers wedding gift & the groom (if he is a Christian too) will always appreciate his father-in-law's gift.

Anonymous said...

It is a sign of disrespect on the new husband. A woman who is sensible will discuss with the father to pass the gifts to the newly wed (as a couple) and not to the wife (as an individual). The father was already sowing seeds of inequality in the marriage. No wonder the marriage collapsed. A man who has self-esteem cannot accept that kind of arrangement.

Anonymous said...

Nne are u high on sometin?? So ur father would need ur husbands permission b4 he gets u a gift? Hmmm nawa some pple can reason shhaa....the idiot can go to hell cos hes not meant for me and cannever come btw me and my dad....stupid man!!!!

Anonymous said...

There is really nothing wrong with receiving gifts from in-laws but d man has got to be careful. In my case, my in-laws gave us a couple of things which we already had but at some point whenever myself and my wife have a quarrel, she packs out of the house with everything making it seem as if her family furnished our house for us. Imagine if we were living in an apartment gifted by her father, I would have been painted irresponsible severally.

Kelechi Igwe said...

MR ERIC OKAFOR.....
A LADY IS FIRST HER FATHER'S DAUGHTER OOOOO....

Anonymous said...

Well said

RareSpecie Z said...

Dope!!

Anonymous said...

Girl you rock.Brilliant Answer.

Anonymous said...

Girl you rock.Brilliant Answer.

Anonymous said...

Wonders shall never seize! Imagine ONYX telling a full-fledged man to be man enough...Kikikikik

Anonymous said...

nnenna george. very silly. is it not a wedding gift. so those that bought washing mavhine too sjould ask ur permission. jeez. some women are stupid sha

Anonymous said...

receiving a gift from your parents is not a bad thing. the major thing here are the individuals involved. my dad encouraged us not to have a loud wedding, he gifted us a car and N1m after the wedding. but guess what? the car and cheque was in my name (bride).
But when he was giving us he said it was a gift to help us start our lives together and he would rather give us the money than pay for a lavish wedding to feed people who are not hungry and wear clothes for chairs and tables (hall decor)...... my husband and i thanked him. Anytime he wants to give me something now, he calls my husband and i and tell us he is giving us whatever and for so and so reason, he will even suggest good investments to us and encourage us by giving us deposits to start with and usually the cheque is in my name. In as much as my husband is his adopted son, i remain his priority.
Wisdom is the principal thing......on the father's side and husband's side.
To some christian overreacting to two become one, do u also require permission from your husband before asking God your heavenly father to give you gifts?
You all should remember that what goes around comes around, when you give your child a gift out of love, all you need to hear is thank you, i appreciate and love you. shikena.

Anonymous said...

receiving a gift from your parents is not a bad thing. the major thing here are the individuals involved. my dad encouraged us not to have a loud wedding, he gifted us a car and N1m after the wedding. but guess what? the car and cheque was in my name (bride).
But when he was giving us he said it was a gift to help us start our lives together and he would rather give us the money than pay for a lavish wedding to feed people who are not hungry and wear clothes for chairs and tables (hall decor)...... my husband and i thanked him. Anytime he wants to give me something now, he calls my husband and i and tell us he is giving us whatever and for so and so reason, he will even suggest good investments to us and encourage us by giving us deposits to start with and usually the cheque is in my name. In as much as my husband is his adopted son, i remain his priority.
Wisdom is the principal thing......on the father's side and husband's side.
To some christian overreacting to two become one, do u also require permission from your husband before asking God your heavenly father to give you gifts?
You all should remember that what goes around comes around, when you give your child a gift out of love, all you need to hear is thank you, i appreciate and love you. shikena.

Jane Abiuwa said...

The guy is not smart,he can as well decide not to stay in the gifted house, rather allow the wife to rent it out if he is not interested and mind his business instead of asking for divorce.

Recent Posts