Comedienne Chigurl opens up about her life, reveals she married as a virgin at 33 but her marriage crashed a year after | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Comedienne Chigurl opens up about her life, reveals she married as a virgin at 33 but her marriage crashed a year after

In an emotional interview with Kemi Adetiba for "King Women", Chioma Omeruah aka Chigul shared the never before heard story of her life. The Comedienne revealed that her marriage crashed just after one year even though she married as a virgin, her marital issues, discovering her husband had a love child and her initial strained relationship with her mother. Read some excerpts  after the cut..

"When my marriage fell apart, I felt like I failed at something and I had no where to learn. It fell apart and I didn't wan't it to fall apart. I felt like I disappointed my dad because we talked about it before he died. I felt like when I needed people for me then, no one was. No one was there and I wanted people to be there, I wanted to be able to go to my mum and cry and say I'm tired. Then she'll just always say, Go back to your husband. 

"The worst was when I discovered that my husband had a child with someone else. This was a year into my separation. When I found out my mum had heard, I was like, I'm done with everyone. Don't talk to me. 

"But I later thought about it. How was she supposed to tell me? I knew it affected her, I knew the way my life was going affected her. The worst thing for me is not being in a relationship, I wanted to give her grandchildren, I wanted us to bond over those things and my success with my life, career is great., it's wonderful, I thank God for it everyday but I want other things too. I want to ta;k to her about how children misbehave and she can now say .....

"I met my husband in 2007. His uncles were my father's people. We were friends as teenagers and in secondary school. When I came back from America, we started talking. After about a year courtship, we decided to get married. He proposed and I said Yes. We were not perfect, they were good days, very happy times. It just got to a place where he didn't care anymore, I didn't care anymore. we both didn't care. It took me a long place where we decided we need to divorce. We were separated for so long but in that time, I still wanted to see that maybe somewhere in the back of my mind we didn't try had enough, maybe we could, but he wasn't interested anymore. And when we started discussing divorce, we became more cordial. I didn't;t want to end things really badly anyway, I would rather we stay cordial because we had to see, we are related to people who are in our lives all the time and till this very day his cousins, uncles are still calling me the wife. It just sort of fizzled and I can't tell you when or how.

"I had been made to believe that it was my job to keep that afloat and the fact that it sank, I felt I failed at this. It fell apart and then I find out about the child. I got upset because we were still officially married buy then, emotionally, he had left the building, because he was with someone else

"We were married for about a year, I lived in Abuja, he lived in Lagos aso I came to Lagos every weekend. When people say oh maybe it's;s because you guys did not live together, I say well there are people who did long distance for years. I don't think it was a cause, I think it was a factor. But you see, before I moved to Abuja, the discussion was to come to Abuja. That was the plan. But he decided against it later. I had a good Job and I wasn't going to leave it. What were we going to do financially? I didn't just decide to go to Abuja as people will think. That isn't what just happened. He just decided not to come. I decided to make it work, coming to Lagos every weekend for about a year. No disrespect to him because we all had our issues, so distance was a small factor. I am the cover up queen. I would never want anyone to see that things are not working. He's not as outgoing as I am, he's colder and I think people noticed that. He has a habit, he could not be in communication with anyone for a long time and literally wouldn't talk for months to anyone in the family. His family can tell you that. 

"That was his way and I discovered that It would be a worse off crime if I did not live my life to the fullest, because I was depressed, I went through depression. My friends in Abuja had a small intervention. I was literally broken inside.
My marriage just fizzled. He didn't want to talk to me. Would not talk to me. I would reach out, apologize, send texts, he would not speak to me. 

"There are also things I did that were wrong. One particular incident, I sold the wedding rings. Yes, I did. Ask me why? You see in Nigeria, that's the end of the story, you deserve to be hung, whatever. In my mind, my rings were a symbol of something that did not exist. It was a circle I was wearing in my finger. Did I have a husband, no. He was absent.

"I'm happy it happened at one year, with no children, no attachments. That's not how I want to bring up children (referring to custody arrangements). I want it to be um a house with Mummy and Daddy. I  married at 33 and was a virgin. That was my first ever anything and it was supposed to be special, it was supposed to last.

51 comments:

ary said...

This is old na but truly emotional though.

Esther Norah said...

Eeeyah marriage drama period

abisoye ologbenla said...

Deep

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Wow!


... Merited happiness

Anonymous said...

Well now you know that it's not about being a virgin. Pele

osondu arinze said...

virgin at 33 kudos to u chigurl


no be all this slay queens we have now wey their toto go turn to lagos-ibadan express before 21

Oghenetega said...

Wow...
This is deep.
Good she came out of it cause it would hv been worse.

Anonymous said...

Awwww. Chigurl. Such a touching narrative. It's ok. I'm sure you're in a good place which is why you're able to exhale & to excel in your career. You're going to meet the right person someday soon. Stay happy. Keep your chin up. Learn the lessons. You're beautiful, funny, brilliant and amazing. We all love and admire you. You're an asset to anyone who comes in contact with you. Don't ever ever ever loose your smile. One love!

Anonymous said...

I hope u we're really a virgin

ike ani said...

I feel for them both but I noticed something in her and the husband which lack or wisdom in settling on disagreement. they maintained the error for months so the divorce was easy to come by. there was also arrogance in her way of seeing things as well as the man. they both are stubborn on the necessary and less serious on the real fact.


how can newly married couple be separate for mnths? long distance was not working for them but they refused to agree to that truth. it doesn't work for every home.

if your husband said he wants you @lagos, why say never? this is where women of nowadays miss it for no just reason. their marriage can still work if they can forgive each other and return to where they misses it.

dailychristianhope.com

ken christy said...

Chai! I feel for Chigurl! It is well dear

Anonymous said...

Linda, am not understanding oo. Plz who is handling this? The interns? What sort of grammar is this? Was the moderator sleepy while typing the whole of this?

BAYODE AKINOLA KINHOOD said...

Awwww sorry though...it really emotional



download your favourite twyse video from YouTube you can watch also

Segun Adegoke said...

So Sorry Chigurl,you passed through a lot. Invest in Agriculture by buying Mercyland farm for 700k an acres. It is located along Abeokuta-shagamu road. Contact Segun on 08052467442 for details.

Anonymous said...

Virgin or no virgin....do u think being a virgin is all that matters? How can u ve married and you stay in abuja and leave ur husband in lagos. What were u thinking? At your age you want people to think for you? Mchewwww....im so sure you frustrated the guys life sexually for him 2 run away from you. madam virginia now u see its not by being a virgin

GALORE said...

I love my @Chi girl....

Please don't cry


Be strong




@Galore

Anonymous said...

I'm going through the same shit.d man won't reply text. Thank God u sold the ring

Anonymous said...

Well I bliv ever since u guys started, Ur husband had his attention divided between you and someone else, so wen d problem started,he had a place to fall back on and he is happy there. Probably they had been before u guys got married.

Anonymous said...

Where are those people saying virginity is the key to successful marriage?

okechukwu nnoduechi said...

HMMMMM ITS WELL






AUNTY LINDA 👩

Anonymous said...

It take 2 to make it work. Who said you won't find happiness again....that person is a lier. God will suuly provide you with the right man. God bless you dear.

Anonymous said...

God will give you your own husband that will love you for who you are.

chinwe muna said...

Even being a virgin cannot keep a man. No manual to keep a man. Only a man knows what his heart desires. It's well

Anonymous said...

In life IQ gives you a job,EQ keeps you on the job,SQ makes you complete.SQ spiritual intelligence,EQ emotional intelligence,IQ intelligence quotient.Most marriage crashes have spiritual root that makes a man or woman not to see how their strange behaviour is affecting the other and adjust.And secondly inflate our egg for remorse and change.I pity those who are not spiritual.They will always tell a sad story.Linda take note...

lois david said...

So the saying that "the most comic personalities are the very ones who have life's deepest issues the most"... is true.

OSINANL said...

NA WAH!

Segun Micheals said...

Who Virgin epp?

ed DREAMZ said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Very very sad something....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Anonymous said...

Your wedding wouldnt have crashed completely if you had not sold the wedding ring. Regardless of your husbands position on your wedding, pls accept responsibility for the total brakeup. And earnestly pray to God for a second opportunity.

Anonymous said...

Partner needs to break their ego, ready to amend broken things and ready to live with each other coz distance doesn't help relationships, all these helps marriage to grow by the grace of God

Esther amaka said...

Eeyaa,that's past now. Forge ahead. E-hugs bei-bei

Esther Ene said...

What an insensitive comment

Anonymous said...

Have you check your own grammar? You typed
---am not understanding---
Should be --- I don't understand---
Or ---- I'm ---
Not --- am---
Big sighhhh

Vivian Reginalds said...

hmm
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

Anonymous said...

Word!

Anonymous said...

Virginity has absolutely nothing to do with the way a man will behave in marriage... Women think that by being virgins they get the best man.. Very wrong

Ella chandelli said...

Why did she sell the wedding rings? Did she get broke or what? Wow! That's some stinking courage to even say it loud

Anonymous said...

I love you for what you have just said.

Anonymous said...

As a victim I understand what she passed through in the hands of that Man. Any marriage that is based on lies from the beginning can't stand.

Anonymous said...

How ur comment take make sense now? What's old na ?

Anonymous said...

Idiot. Liars always think sum1 else lies.

phummy said...

Madam abeg accept responsibility for the breakup.you sold ur wedding ring b4 the divoce,so what are u talking about? You stayed in abuja while they were servicing ur hubby in lagos. I used to live in london, I had to move back to naija cos of marriage. Pls accept all and all responsibility.

Mrs. Boss said...

All these people blaming her... Especially this @phummy. If you have never walked in someone's shoes, you will never know where the shoes pinch. MATURE PEOPLE KNOW THAT SECRETS AND LIES DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS FASTER THAN ANY OTHER THING!

I had issues with my husband that lingered - WE WERE NEVER BEEN APART! We slept in the same bed, I cooked for him, he was cheating, I was always nagging at the littlest things, etc etc. I also sold the wedding bands at some point because the marriage was empty. I didn't sell them so I could be perceived as being "free to mingle". I sold them because I hated being married. The divorce was an easier conversation because BOTH OF THEM were tired and had lost the will to make it work.

In my own case, after going through our issues for about 3 years (3 years of hell by the way), we eventually got to a point where we felt it we should start over. We did, it's been about a year and we are still trying to make it work. It is not easy but BOTH OF US are willing to put the work into it.

And before you holymongers throw the first stone, who will God ask what happened to the marriage??? THE MAN! Why? Because it was his responsibility to show the will to make it work.

Anonymous said...

You tried chigurl wow.. 33 years a Virgin. Now i can go further thanks for making me realising that I am not alone, that there might still be Virgin out there at 33. I will be 33 by Dec 18. I refused to be bothered why can't I have men who deserves me. But then I pray my marriage worths it amen to me. Cos I am tired of being one gosh!

uche thecla said...

Shut up please. Why blame her. So cos she lived far. Dont you see couples who live in diff countries yet it works.. selling wedding rigs doesn't mean she is failed it. It never worked out so sold it..

Anonymous said...

I wish I cld give u a big hug. You just nailed it. Applies to women too.

oriloye abiodun said...

Eeyah... Next tym sample d*cks before making ur final choice

Mayreeh M said...

Smh... Not everyone is like you sha

FOR BIG SIZED SHOES CALL 08133415730 said...

Awww.... So sad. If you ask me, for a long distance relationship to work, it must already have a solid foundation.. You dont do such when you've only just gotten married... I think it was too early

Ifeyinwa Atuanya said...

Is Chigurl up to 41 years?

Chigurl, if you are looking to be married again, I can be of help

What is your type?

Do you prefer Nigerian men?

What tribe?

How tall?

How short?

Obviously, he will not have kids

And he will understand your profession; a comedienne, an actress, entertainment

Do you want him to be married? single? divorced? widowed?

Dora Michael said...

Eaaya pls get yourself a hubby before Finding one for Chigul, fake ass niga

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