"Let me just tell you something. We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation," she says. That said, she doesn't feel Christine was a good fit for her family. "Bad judgment? Yes. It's not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives." Months later, Jennifer is still picking up the pieces. "I have had to have conversations about the meaning of 'scandal.'"Jennifer said despite the pain she went through following the demise of her marriage, she is uninterested in trashing Ben - though she appreciates the public's concern.
"People have pain—they do regrettable things, they feel shame, and shame equals pain," she says. "No one needs to hate him for me. I don't hate him. Certainly we don't have to beat the guy up. Don't worry—my eyes were wide open during the marriage. I'm taking good care of myself."To take care of herself, Jennifer said she exiled herself from the Internet.
"I turned on CNN one day, and there we were," she recalls. "I just won't do it anymore. I took a silent oath with myself last summer to really stay offline. I am totally clueless about all of it." Ben, however, paid more attention to how their breakup played out in the press. "Ben says, 'Oh, you just don't care,' and I say, 'No, it's the opposite.' It hurts me so much, and I care so much. I cannot be driven by the optics of this. I cannot let anger or hurt be my engine," Jennifer says. "I need to move with the big picture always on my mind, and the kids first and foremost."