Signs he's not that into you | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog





Sunday, 30 August 2009

Signs he's not that into you

Wake up ladies, if you keep making excuses for the man in your life...then he's probably not that into you. She's 31, he's 37, they've been dating for four years, asked why they were not thinking about marriage; she says he's not ready. He's not ready? At 37? Really? Or maybe he just doesn't see his wife in you? Men make a lot of excuses when they really are not into you. Like Ifeoma Odogwu wrote, if a man really wants to be with you, he will make it happen. You won't have to make excuses for him. Please remember this, if a man wants you, nothing will keep him away.

If you get to a certain age, like late 20's/early 30's, please don't waste your time with any man. Check for signs, if he's not showing any seriousness, you probably should take a walk. See I'm single, mostly because I'm too old to be wasting my time with any man. I don't want to be any man's past time activity, or one of his 'women', or date someone I know I can't marry, I mean what's the point? So I'm keeping myself 100% available for when my husband comes along... and I think he's coming very soon. God remember that discussion we had yesterday? lol

Anyway, check out 15 signs he's not that into you that I found in an online women's website...

1. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out.
If a man is excited about awoman, he can’t stop himself— he wants more. If he’s attracted to her, he’s going to want to take it further. If he’s not making a move, it’s not because he is ‘scared’. The only thing he is scared of is how not attracted to you he is.

2. He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you.
He says he didn’t have a moment in his busy day to call. Rubbish! The real reason is that you are not on his mind. If a man leads you to expect he will call and then doesn’t follow through on such a little thing, he will never follow through on big things. Be aware he is okay with the idea he is disappointing you.

3. He communicates via TEXT and email. By doing so, he avoids the “getting to know you” conversations. He really isn’t interested in moving things forward. He wants the down and dirty. When can he see you? If you have already had sex, his TEXT is to set up his next booty call. He usually steers the conversation towards telling you how sexy you are and how he can’t wait to see you again. DUH!

4. He warns you that he isn’t relationship material. Men usually say what they mean. He is telling you that he is not relationship material-at least with you-believe him! You might be the exception to the rule, but more than likely, you are not. He is probably going to have sex with you and dump you when things get too complicated (you want more from him).

5. He puts little planning into your date. He tells you that he wants to hang out and watch a movie or something. “Something” means having sex in case you haven’t figured that out by now. If you always go to the restaurant, because it is his favorite, he isn’t trying to please you. More than likely, he goes to different restaurants with different women. A guy that is really into you will plan a date. Even if the date doesn’t cost him a dime, he will plan.

6. He makes lots of empty promises. He keeps talking as if you have a future, but he takes little or no action. He talks about having a future together or all the fun things you will soon, but he doesn’t plan a date! Some men promise the moon, sun and stars, but deliver…nothing! He really isn’t that into you. Think about this. If he can’t come up with a few things that make you swoon despite his pocketbook, he isn’t that into you.

7. He makes last minute plans to see you. You are just so glad he calls that you don’t realize that that he is definitely not that into you or he thinks that you have no life and would be readily available at his beckon call. Either way, if you accept, you aren’t scoring any points. You were probably one of the women in his “little black book” and not his first call.

8. He avoids the “getting-to-know you” conversations! He really doesn’t want to get to know you better. He wants to know what he needs to know to get you into bed. If he really wants to get to know you better, he is asking questions about you, your life and what you want. If not, he is looking for the easiest, quickest booty call. He will flatter you! He will tell you how amazing you are! But he doesn’t really know anything about you. If you fall for this, don’t expect a call anytime soon. He will call you again when he is horny.

9. He is pushy about getting physical. He tries to move things forward beyond the “make out” session with minimal clothing. If you resist, he makes you feel bad that you aren’t that into him. He says that he just wants to cuddle, but he is really trying to get more. (Just so you know, most men don’t really like cuddling. They do it because it gets them sex!) He is kissing and holding you, but in the process trying to take your blouse and pants off, wants sex. If he gets upset or offended when you put the kibosh on moving forward, he isn’t that into you. If someone really likes you, he is willing to wait until you are ready to move things forward.

10. You initiate and he doesn't follow through. If you're really into a guy and you think he may be shy, try initiating a conversation, phone call or texting session. If you start the conversation, he'll want to continue it. However, if he doesn't return your calls or texts or tries to end the conversation quickly, he may not be into you.

11. His actions don't match his words. If he says he'll call you and then you don't hear from him or if you suggest meeting up and he is "too busy," he probably isn't interested.

12. If you have been dating for a month or more and have never met his friends, he isn’t that into you. When men think they have found a great catch, he want to show her off. If you don’t get an invitation to meet his friends, you aren’t that girl. He wants to see you alone but not integrate you into his life, this is not a good sign. If a man is really into you, he wants all his friends to see the woman he is dating. If this doesn’t happen, you are not the woman he wants to be with long term.

13. He says he just wants to be friends. He means it. If you offer up sex as part of the package, he is willing to be friends with benefits. He isn’t stupid if you are! If you offer to satisfy him sexually, why not. If you think being friends with benefits will lead to more, it won’t. He isn’t into you in almost every case. When he finds someone who rocks his world, you are history.

14. He's not that into you if he's still hooking up with other women. Or you even catch him at it, he’s not ready to settle down with you. Even if he still maintains inappropriate contact with exes or even other women friends he’s not ready to invest time in you or ready to have any kind of future. He’s just not worth the time if he’s out looking for someone else. Save yourself the heartache and move on. You’ll find someone who will be so thankful for you.

15. He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t want to marry you.
Every man you have dated who says he doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t believe in marriage, or has ‘issues’ with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will not be to you. (Tell me about

OK that's it ladies. I'm sure some of you were able to relate with a few of these signs.
Please stop making excuses for him. If he likes it, he will put a ring on it...*wink*
If you know more signs, please share with the rest of us.

On a lighter note, here's a sign he's definitely into you...

...When he puts food in your mouth.
Ex-president Olusegun Obasanjo feeding Governor Gbenga Daniels.
Awwwwww...such a cute couple.


sam said...

Aunty Linda y u dey fall our a guy it's true if a guy does any or most of these things he is not feeling u

leggy said...

lol...yup,im definitely feeling this.

chayoma said...

Yup ladies
lol@ the cute couple

Anonymous said...

Oh,dat is sooo gay. WDF

Anonymous said...

Ms Ikeji,
U had better left OBJ in his cocoon,lest he comes and get u. U can imagine being a 55th wife? Sure u will enjoy the bucks & aunt Iyabo's attitude.

Anonymous said...

when u r in love all those things will not count because whatever he those becames the best for you.

When professional people talk about richest Artist they do it professionaly with fact not guess as i think silverbird is doing!!!

Anonymous said...

He says that he just wants to cuddle, but he is really trying to get more. (Just so you know, most men don’t really like cuddling. They do it because it gets them sex!) This gets me cranking up

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Its only a man that knows who he wants to marry................. and if you are with a man for more than five years without any topic of marriage plans sorry sista he would not marry you!

Anonymous said...

Gbenga and obasonjo......thats some homo shit

ifeoma odogwu said...

linda used my quote. yay! roflmao @ obj n daniel. yes o if he's not callin u...... he's just not that into u!!!i'm feelin dis post. xoxo.

ogunnubi kuburat said...

guess dis is gonna sweep guys off their feet, if they read it

Anonymous said...

ba iyabo and ogd onthe down low?

Anonymous said...

oMG Lolu is fucken HOT!omg....i want some.

Anonymous said...

lol@ the cute couple. Linda is a mess for putting that last pic up, he's definitely into him. When a man is not into you, he's just not, period. Move on.

Anonymous said...

I have to say thank you so much for putting this list up. As a young woman in this society of technologies and so many boys.. I've been struggling reading if they are into me or not. From your list, I now see that well, all of them aren't. Now I can stop wasting my time. Thanks!!!!!! =]

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